i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
