Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
