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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im six kinds of drunk right now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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