I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
