Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We left the knife in your bed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
