fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
