What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
