These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
