we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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