I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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