Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
whose parrot is this?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
