speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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