holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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