Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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