yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
