Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
