and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
