She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
