I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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