i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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