Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
look no pants
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
