you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
