never play flip cup with pint glasses
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize