Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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