So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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