i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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