That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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