God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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