Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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