can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
