Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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