Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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