Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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