Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
