when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
