you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize