Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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