He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Jerry, you need to find god
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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