so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
