she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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