a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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