ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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