his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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