it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
