apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize