made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
