Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
