you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
