he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
