I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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