you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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