WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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