And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
