Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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