My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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