if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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