i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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