i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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