This is not my ceiling
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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