just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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