Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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